One day you're fine. The next day you're crying in your car because the drive-through forgot your sauce. Your sleep is wrecked. Your joints ache in places you didn't know could ache. You can't remember why you walked into the kitchen — for the third time. And your metabolism? It apparently left without a forwarding address.
Welcome to perimenopause. The phase of life nobody warned you about, nobody prepared you for, and — until very recently — nobody was even willing to talk about openly.
I'm talking about it. Because someone has to. And because understanding what's happening to your body is the first step to taking your power back. I also wrote about the exhaustion side of this in The Real Reason You're Exhausted.
What Is Perimenopause and When Does It Start?
Starting in your late 30s to early 40s (yes, that early), your estrogen and progesterone levels start fluctuating wildly. This isn't a gradual, gentle decline — it's a hormonal roller coaster. Some days you have too much estrogen. Some days not enough. Some days your body can't decide.
Your body is trying to find a new normal, and in the meantime, everything feels chaotic. The symptoms are real and they are NOT in your head: hot flashes, brain fog, weight gain (especially around your middle), mood swings that can pivot from rage to tears in seconds, insomnia, anxiety, joint pain, low libido, and the unsettling feeling that you don't recognize your own body anymore.
This is the stuff I talk about at my retreats. It's the stuff that makes women's eyes go wide and say, 'Oh my God, I'm not crazy.' You're not crazy. You're in a hormonal hurricane, and nobody gave you a weather report.
Why Won't My Doctor Take My Perimenopause Symptoms Seriously?
If I had a dollar for every woman who told me her doctor said 'it's just stress' or handed her an antidepressant when she described perimenopause symptoms, I'd fund my own research lab.
The truth is, our medical system was not designed to support women in this transition. Many doctors received less than one hour of menopause education in medical school. ONE HOUR. For a transition that affects 100% of women.
You may need to advocate for yourself. Ask for a full hormone panel. Research HRT (hormone replacement therapy) — the data is much more positive than the fear-mongering suggests. Find a doctor who specializes in women's health over 40. And if your doctor dismisses you, find a new doctor. Your symptoms are valid.
This is something we dig into at the Sun, Soul & Second Acts retreat — with an actual clinical nutritionist who specializes in perimenopause. Not Google advice. Real expert guidance.
What Should I Eat During Perimenopause?
This is absolutely NOT the time for restrictive dieting. I repeat: put the 1200-calorie meal plan in the trash. Your body needs nourishment, not punishment.
Focus on protein (aim for at least 100g daily — more than you think). Load up on healthy fats, fiber, and cruciferous vegetables. Reduce inflammatory foods like processed sugar, seed oils, and alcohol (I know, I'm sorry about the wine).
Perimenopause nutrition isn't about weight loss — it's about giving your body the raw materials it needs to navigate this transition with less suffering. Feed your body like you love it, not like you're punishing it for changing.
What's the Best Exercise for Women Over 40?
If your old workout routine isn't working anymore, that's not a character flaw. It's biology. Your body responds differently to exercise now. The hour-long cardio sessions that worked at 30? They might actually be making things worse at 45 by spiking your cortisol.
Less intense cardio, more strength training. Lifting weights is the single best thing you can do for your bones, your metabolism, and your mental health in midlife. Start where you are. Five-pound dumbbells are perfect. Your future self will thank you.
How Do I Accept My Changing Body in Midlife?
The hardest part of this transition isn't physical — it's the grief. Grieving the body you used to have. The energy you used to take for granted. The feeling of being in control of something you now realize was always temporary.
But here's the reframe I share with every woman I coach: your body isn't betraying you. It's transforming. And transformation always involves letting go of what was to make room for what's coming. This is the same kind of identity work I wrote about in 3 Identity Shifts That Changed Everything.
You're not falling apart. You're being rebuilt. And the woman on the other side of this transition? She's stronger, wiser, and more magnificent than the one who came before.
If you want to navigate this transition with expert support and a community of women who truly get it, that's what my coaching — and my retreats — are designed for.
